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Shop Talk Blog

Thinking of moving to Westeros in the coming future? We’ve got the inside scoop on the best castles for your army, family, and peasants to reside in.
April 12, 2019

Game of Thrones: The Best Homes In All The Seven Kingdoms

by The CE Shop Team

Your go-to listing guide to purchasing your next throne for battles, torturing, and all Medieval activities in-between.

Over the past decade, Westeros has become one of the hottest real estate markets. With the fall of the Baratheons, Martells, and Tyrells, there’s suddenly a great opportunity to invest in “buy and hold on to dear life” properties that will totally be worth your while (if you survive the coming White Walker apocalypse, that is). Let’s check out these deals!

Winterfell (The North)

Occupied: Yes

Distance From The Wall: ~630 miles

Size: 820 Acres (inside walls)

Dragon-Resistant: No

Features: Protected by two 80-foot and 100-foot walls, this legendary winter paradise is the home to the Starks, and current King of the North (for now), Jon Snow. There’s a fancy white-red tree, a crypt with deceased family members you may remember from Season 3, and some bad-ass stone bulwarks guarding the second gate. Highly recommended due to the indebted servitude of maestors and people who clean the loo.

And also, please don’t mind the creepy boy lingering below the creepy tree with a creepy face. He doesn’t bite; he just uses metamorphic powers to seize control of vicious animals to tear you apart. All you need to do is adjust your head 90 degrees north and bam, winter paradise...with 10,000 Wights walking your way. Okay, just look South and West. See, there it is: winter paradise.

Bonus: Built over a natural spring that keeps it .2 degrees cooler, it’s a steal...if you can steal it #Don’tBeAHero

Asking Price: 8,503 Gold Dragons ($100,000,000 USD)

Future Appreciation Outlook: Not Great

Red Keep (King’s Landing)

Occupied: Yes

Distance From The Wall: ~3,000 miles

Size: 650,160 sq. feet

Dragon-Resistant: Kind of

Features: Located in the densest (and most happening) city in all of Westeros, the Red Keep is currently occupied by Queen Cersei. Some of the amenities include a Great Hall with an even greater chair, the Queen’s Ballroom, multiple halls for throwing parties with your other royalty pals, a dungeon for torturing your enemies and your enemies' friends, and a tournament courtyard. Now, there is some recent damage to the nearby Sept, but once the smoke fully clears, it’ll be good to go for prayer time.

Bonus: If not killed during your siege to take the castle, you’ll be gifted The Mountain. He’s considered the strongest and least annoying fighter in all the land.

Asking Price: 63,350 Gold Dragons ($745,000,000 USD)

Future Appreciation Outlook: Better Than Winterfell, though still not great

 

Sunspear (Dorne)

Occupied: No

Distance From The Wall: ~3,000 miles

Size: 700,050 sq. feet

Dragon-Resistant: No

Features: With the ability to house over 3,500 of your closest friends (or world-class fighters), the Sunspear is the most beautiful listing we currently have. Not only do you get the entire southern peninsula of Westeros at your disposal, you have amazing views of The Sea of Dorner, The Sunset Sea (lucky you), and the Red Mountains in the north. Plus, no one lives here because all the Martells are either dead or imprisoned. The only thing you need to watch out for is an army of pissed off Lannisters or the Iron Islands Navy. But in all seriousness, if you care at all about amenities (and living past the age of 40), this is the place to be.

Bonus: Living here, you probably won’t see an army of White Walkers until Episode 6 of this final season, so you can enjoy some peace and quiet for a while.

Asking Price: 34,013 Gold Dragons ($400,000,000 USD)

Future Appreciation Outlook: Better than everyone else

Pyke (Iron Islands)

Occupied: Yes and No

Distance From The Wall: ~1,200 miles

Size: Big Enough

Dragon-Resistant: No

Features: Are you a lover of islands with high cliffs, cold stormy seas, and no natural resources? Well, we’ve got a place for you. This isolated “fixer upper” is the perfect hideaway to hang loose while the White Walkers destroy everything else. So what if it’s freezing, and located in the country voted Ugliest People by OK! Westeros? No Wight, White Walker, or Night King can get to the island...well, unless they have a dragon, which they do, but come on, zero chance the White Walkers win this war anyway, right?

Bonus: Did we mention the castle’s got some cool swing bridges? Also, good chance all three Greyjoys die at some point, so you should be good to go.

Asking Price: 2,976 Gold Dragons ($35,000,000 USD)

Future Appreciation Outlook: Not bad, probably.

 

Dragonstone

Occupied: Yes

Distance From The Wall: ~3,250 miles

Size: 50,000 sq. ft

Dragon-Resistant: Doesn’t matter

Features: Its Valyrian design will make you go “Woah”. Its Queen will make you go “Wow”. And its plethora of dragon glass will make you go “Take that, White Walkers!” This military base island located in Blackwater Bay is a scenic military compound perfect for a dominant, Wight-free reign that’ll surely end in your victory. Stannis Baratheon once admitted “the castle is unlike any in Westeros, foreign and...strange.” If that isn’t a stamp of approval, we don’t know what is.

Bonus: Fantastic opportunity to network with the Dragon Queen if your bid to take the castle fails (and you don’t get burned to a crisp by her dragons).

Asking Price: 85,034 Gold Dragons ($1,000,000,000 USD)

Future Appreciation Outlook: Not bad, probably.

These are all the current listings we have for sale or for seizing. We did send several Westeros real estate agents to visit and assess other properties throughout the seven kingdoms. However, we have absolutely no idea where they are, or if they’re even still alive. We did hear back from our man out in Riverrun, but apparently he ate a nasty hot pie appetizer at the open house and the local maestor wasn’t able to revive him.

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